Lifeless
by LionessOfTheQuattro
Summary: "She Had No Energy To Sit, To Cry, To Live." I Dont Want To Ruin It So I Will Just Say This.. Three Chapters. Three People. Alex, Molly And Gene. Rated T For Some Upsetting Themes. Character Death.
1. Alex

**New Fic ! =D Quite Sad And Angsty One Sorry About That =S Buuuut If Anyone Would Like To Beta The Next Two Chapters I Would Be Eternally Grateful ! Methinks I May Need A Bit Of Help When It Comes To The Ending As It Will Be A Bit Dark And Stuff So If You Would Like To Help A Troubled Soul Send Me A Message Or Tell Me In A Review. Thank You And Love To You All ! =D x**

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><p>Alex was flicking through channels; there had to be someone trying to get through to her, to tell her how to escape her encasing subconscious. But there was nothing. Bored of the blank screen, she switched it off and headed for bed.<p>

As she walked out of the lounge she heard a voice. Running back to the television set she saw Molly sitting at her dressing table brushing her hair while humming tunelessly to the radio a little smile radiating happiness on her face. Her heartstrings strained themselves to reach Molly somehow but she was too far away to touch. She reached out to touch the screen, it was the closest she would get to touching her daughter for a long time still, this she knew.

"Molly." Escaped her lips, as her fingers connected with Molly's face an electric impulse shot across her skin and causing her to yelp out in pain. Her fingertips glowed a furious red as the pain continued to dance across them. But as she looked back up to the screen she saw what her touch had done.

Scenes of Molly were flashing across of the screen but they were no longer happy ones. Pain was cruelly etched on her face in each flash.

Alex watched as her daughter repeatedly dissolve into tears. She watched as she cried in her bedroom. She watched as she screamed at Evan tears streaming down her face. She watched as she sobbed on the floor. She watched until tears drowned her own eyes, her heart splintering and fracturing into millions of microscopic pieces.

She clawed at the television desperately trying to reach her daughter, screaming her name. She could feel her nails collapse under the pressure and watched as streaks of blood trickled down the screen. Then it went blank.

Her screams turned to wrecking sobs that shook through her body until she had no energy to sit, to cry, to live. She curled herself into a small ball on the floor and stayed there until the carpet beneath her face was completely soaked with her salty tears.

She rolled onto her back and spread-eagled, images of Molly haunting her eyes. She closed her eyes and tried to push the pictures away but the more she pushed the more defined they became. The tears, the pale face, the tortured eyes...

Something slammed against the door and she immediately rolled over on to her knees. Her pulse was thundering in her ears as she listened for any indication of movement outside. She held her breath.

"Bolly! Open the bloody door, I'm freezing my bloody knackers off out here."

She sighed, her heart was still running circles round her lungs. She stood on shaky legs and wobbled her way to the door.

When she opened it she saw her DCI slumped against her door frame clearly pissed. But not pissed enough to disregard her awful appearance.

"Holy Mary and Joseph, you look like shit Bollinger."

"Thanks." She scowled. "Always pull with that line do you Guv?"

"What's wrong Alex?" Genuine concern in his slightly crossed eyes.

"Nothing. Life is bloody fantastic, now what do you want?" Her voice laced with intentional poison and she hoped he would drop it.

"If you say so.." She glared at him and watched him nervously gulp. "So, can I crash on your sofa?"

She didn't answer him, only looked at his swaying form for a few seconds then left the door open as she wearily walked to her bedroom.

"Don't throw up."

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><p>For the next week she completely ignored her boss. He repeatedly tried to get her alone for a chat but as soon as he came towards her she walked away. Other times he tried to rile her up, get the passion back in her eyes but she was empty. She felt like there was no life left in her when Molly wasn't there. She could feel herself spiralling back into the depression just like she had after her parents died a month ago.<p>

But now he finally had her cornered the suspect had been taken out of the interview room and it was just them. Alone. Him blocking the door.

"Guv, let me out I have paperwork to do." 

"All you do is bloody paperwork."

"There is lots to do." Even she could hear the lack of life in her voice and she knew it was a truly pathetic excuse.

"That's bollocks."

"No it's very important so let me leave please." She made no attempt to leave, her limp body just stood still waiting for her boss.

"What happened to you Bolls?"

"Nothing."

"Bolly.." He pleaded.

"My name is not Bolly." She muttered resentfully. He was starting to annoy her with his persistent questioning and silly nicknames.

"Don't say.."

"Don't say what? That my name is not Bolly! Well it bloody isn't. My name is Alex Drake." She screamed. "I am a DI. I live in London." Her voice was beyond hysteria now. "I have a daughter called Molly and she needs me Gene and I can't be there.." His face was a mixture of shock and sadness but she didn't stop there. "I can't be there and it's all YOUR FAULT, '_Gene'_, you won't let me go. So I am stuck here with you instead of where I need to be. AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN FUCKING REAL!"

She pushed past Gene and almost ripped the door off its hinges as she ran out of the room. She didn't stop running when tears streamed down her face. She didn't stop running when she heard her name being called in the distance. She didn't stop until she inside her flat and crumpled on the floor.

Gene had awoken the pain that she had managed to bury when she was in her zombie mode, but now it was back and the raw agony tore through her soul. She cried and screamed and sobbed and kicked furniture until she had nothing left inside once again.

She collapsed on her bed exhausted but not tired. Somehow tears were still leaking out of her eyes. Surely there was no more water left in her body. Surely she would shrivel up and crumble to dust soon.

She closed her eyes and felt one last tear stroll down her face before sleep engulfed her for the first time in a week.

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><p>She was standing outside of her house. Her house. Her 2008 house. She ran up the drive and straight through the front door. She heard movement upstairs. Molly. She ran up the stairs taking two or three at a time. She was up there in seconds.<p>

She jogged to Molly's room and pushed open the door expecting to see her daughter there, waiting for her. But it was empty and she felt her heart plummet to the floorboards beneath her.

It shot straight back to its place when she heard a timid voice call out.

"Mum?"

Alex rushed to the source of the sound. She found her in her bedroom, lying on her side of the bed, clutching one of her old teddies from her childhood that Evan had given her when she graduated from university.

"Molly." She heaved in a sigh of relief.

Molly sprang off the bed and jumped straight into her arms. As soon as Molly was in her arms Alex squeezed her as tight as she could and peppered her hair with small kisses.

Eventually Molly tore herself out of her mothers grip with tears dotted down her cheeks. Alex knelt down before her and wiped away her tears with her thumbs.

"I love you Mum."

"I love you too Molls. I won't ever leave you again, I promise."

"Good." Molly smiled through her tears.

"Good." Alex repeated wistfully then she slumped against the wall and patted the space next to her. Molly shifted round and snuggled into Alex's side.

"Mum?"

"Yes Molls."

"What's it like being in a coma? Did you go into a coma world? Or was it just like a long sleep? I read in some psychology books that some people think that their coma world is the real world and that the real world, don't you think that's really weird?" Alex looked at her bemused and Molly laughed. "So did you?"

Alex sighed and told her about the 80s. The fashion, her job, her team, her DCI – in great detail –, her little flat, Luigi, the Quattro and Gene's insane driving, her leather jacket and her god awful perm. Molly sat wide eyed and absorbed every detail. She constantly quizzed Alex about absolutely everything.

When Alex had finished they sat quietly for a while until Molly spoke.

"Mum, I will be with you soon."

"What?" But Molly had disappeared and so had the room. She was blinded by a flash of white.

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><p>Alex woke up. She was back in her little flat. In the 80s. Without Molly. Tears pricked in her eyes. She had been dreaming. She punched the pillow into shape and fell onto it. She waited for sleep to take her again maybe she could visit Molly in her dreams, if nothing else.<p>

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><p><strong>One Down Two To Go ! See You Soon =D<strong>

**Rachel xx**


	2. Molly

**Sorry for the incredibly long wait, my beta did a runner on me so I have been waiting for her to come back, but anywaaaay, continue.**

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><p>Molly was having yet another argument with Evan. This seemed to happen more and more the longer her mum was lying lifeless in a hospital bed.<p>

She was living with Evan now, in his house, just them two together, alone, all the time. She did love Evan, somewhere deep down. But it was getting harder to find it when he followed her around and doted on her. It was fine to start with, but he didn't seem to get the hint that his overbearing presence was highly irritating to her. It didn't help that every time she saw him it reminded her that she didn't have her Dad here to look after her and she didn't have a Mum that could wake up from her own stupid coma.

Right now it was nine pm and Evan was trying to get her to convince her it was bedtime. Molly had different ideas.

"Molls, time for bed come on." She gritted her teeth, only her Mum called her that. She remained silent. "Molly." He warned. "Don't make me repeat myself."

"Then don't say it again." She snapped, keeping her eye on the computer.

"Turn it off." She ignored him. "Don't ignore me Molly.

"Leave me alone."

"Molly..."

"Evan."

"Don't make me pull the plug out."

"Don't make me pull the plug out." She mimicked.

"Right, that's it..." She stood up.

"That's what? What are you going to do EVAN?" She screamed.

"Molly calm down..."

"NO I WILL NOT BLOODY CALM DOWN." He reached out to pat her shoulder. "DON'T TOUCH ME. YOU'RE NOT MY DAD." Hurt broke onto his face and she felt slightly bad but she couldn't help the tirade of abuse coming from her mouth. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I DON'T NEED YOU, OR YOUR HOUSE, OR YOUR PRESENTS, OR YOUR FUCKING SYMPATHY!" She pushed past him and ran up the stairs to her bedroom. She would feel bad about it later, she had well and truly done it this time but all she could do was cry herself to sleep, like she did every night.

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><p>Molly was in her hallway. Not Evan's, this was her hallway in her house.<br>"Mum..." Molly ran into the living room, but she wasn't there. She wasn't in the dining room or the kitchen or the utility room or the bathroom or in Molly's bedroom. There was only one place left to look, her bedroom. Molly held her breath as she pushed the door open slowly.

She pushed the door lightly so it slowly creaked to reveal her Mum's pale and empty room. Her eyes were drawn to the big white double bed in the centre of the vacant room. Before she knew what she was doing she crashed onto the soft sheets.  
>The entire bed smelt of her Mum, her perfume, her shampoo and her mumsy smell that combined with a comforting pair of arms was her safe haven, a place to hide. But now there was nothing, nowhere to escape to, only the bare bed that smelt faintly of her mother.<p>

She moved up the bed the scent of hairspray pulling her to the pillows. As she laid her head on the pillow it seemed to emit a big cloud of the fragrance. Molly gasped at the strength of pain that shot through her chest. Every fibre in her chest seemed to be collapsing in on itself and her heart was slowly breaking under the pressure.

Tears streaked down her face as she tried to stem them with the pillow and she felt something lumpy digging into the side of her head. She reached under the soft pillow to find the source and she found a leg.

When she pulled at the furry limb until the owner revealed itself. A small, faded bear with matted fur. In his glassy eyes she saw her own puffy ones reflected back at her.

Her tears seemed to have slowed down to the occasional escapee that ran down her face towards their freedom.

Exhausted from her emotional outlet, she slumped onto the bed surrounded by familiar smells and surroundings. As she closed her eyes she imagined her Mum was lying opposite her, that she was where she belonged and beaming healthiness. Not clinging onto life in a hospital bed, surrounded by humming monitors and drips attached to every vein in her body.

She imagined the feel of her Mum's arms encasing her in a warm embrace that could scare off any nightmare, or bully, or worry. Molly felt deep within that she was loved, something that she hadn't felt in such a long time and she didn't want to let go for fear that she would never find it again.

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><p>She attempted to pull her heavy lids apart, only to find they were sealed together with her tears, but they soon ripped apart when she heard a floorboard creak in the hall.<p>

"Mum?"

As soon as the word left her lips she scolded herself on her own stupidity. It wasn't her mum. Her mum wasn't coming to cuddle her. Her mum wasn't coming back; she was gone, forever.

She buried her face back into the mottled fur of her mum's teddy.

"Molly..."

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><p>Molly was wrenched from her sleep with such force that she almost fell out of her bed.<p>

No, not her bed. Evan's bed. In Evan's house. She wasn't back home and she certainly wasn't with her mum.

Her heart convulsed in pain and her already damp pillow was quickly becoming saturated. She had to press her face into her knees and hold onto her rib cage to stop the screams that she knew would escape if she didn't hold them in.

Her nails dug into her skin in the vain attempt to stop it from falling apart and exposing her battered heart to the world. Her teeth bit into her tongue until she tasted blood in her mouth. Her knees pressed themselves into her face until no air escaped.

She thought of the light burning sensation in her lungs and how her body began to relax until she floated peacefully into the darkness.

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><p>Next time Molly woke up, she wasn't in Evan's house or even her house, she was in a dark alleyway. Confused, she picked herself up and brushed the dirt off her pyjamas. Pyjamas that weren't there, she was wearing denim hot pants over black leggings and a baggy red jumper. Clothes that she didn't own.<p>

Her pulse began to quicken as she realised she had no idea where she was, no idea how she got there and she wearing somebody else's clothes.

She saw the light at the end of the alleyway and ran for it. Her heart beating frantically and her breathing erratic. Her feet were pounding against the floor and the sound echoed up and down the suffocatingly small space. Something moved behind her and she stopped dead.

A footstep. Then another.

_A rapist? A murderer? The person who brought her here? All three? _

She was running again, adrenaline pumping through her body washing away any tiredness and pain she felt, desperate to escape the darkness she had been thrown into and make it to survive.

She made it. She was on a main road, with people, in broad daylight.

She was about to cross the road when a bright red car came squealing round the corner. Fine, she would wait for the driver with anger issues to go past before she crossed.

_Some people,_ she thought shaking her head in dismay before she felt a shove from behind. She was stumbling, then in a flash of red she was flying, floating, crashing.

Then there was nothing, only the dark.

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><p><strong>This chapter was hard to write and it didn't quite turn out the way I imagined, but I hope you guys enjoyed it... <strong>

**Rachel xx**


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